My dear daddy- 1

                                  I always wonder how people write a lot in blogs, Facebook and Twitter. Whenever I try to write/type something I get stuck within a few words of it. I believe, writing is for people filled with a lot of emotions and clear thoughts about life. I am a person with little emotions about anything in life and with an ever confused mind. I have never been too much happy or sad over anything. Maybe that's the reason I couldn't write though I badly wanted to. They say, the extreme qualities of a person will be put to an end at some point of time. Namely jealousy, vendetta, laziness, etc. My quality which I have always wanted to overcome - my lack of emotions, came to an end last year when my father passed away suddenly, unexpectedly. I had a burst of emotions which I have never felt in my life at any earlier stage.Though I had too much of emotions, I never shared it with anyone. I have never got the guts to express myself to people, especially my sorrows. After avoiding every possible situation to express my feelings in the past one year, I have finally decided to write them in this blog. This is not a sad story or an eulogy to gain sympathy. Its just my way of thinking about him, his love for me and my memories with him with a broad smile. :)

                                He was the best father in the world. That's what any girl would say about her dad. There are two types of daughters in this world. The first type who likes to have a husband just like her father. And the second type who wants to be like her father. I am the latter. He brought me up in a way just like he wanted to grow up. His dad left his mother when he was just born. The child never got father's love or support. So he wanted his children to have everything in life. Everything he missed to have. He worked hard in life from living in a hut to buying a big house and a car all by himself. He never said no to anything we asked for. I was brought up with 100% freedom to do anything I wish in life which a very few daughters would get in our country. I was born three years after his marriage. He always wished for a daughter and I came to him as the best gift in his life. He treated me that way. I was his best friend, his best child and his best possession. Every moment with him, I have always felt he lived for me. Since he grew up in his life independently without any support, he had too much pride and self esteem. He never listened to people's advice unless they sound absolutely convincing. But the only person he listened to, was me. Anything I say will go straight to his head and he took them seriously. I was the controlling factor in his life and he was mine. We were best friends. Friendship beyond a father-daughter relationship. He discussed every single topic he came across in life with me without looking down on me as a girl or as a child. He took me to all places he wished to go. But the most beautiful and memorable places I went with him were the tea shops all over the city. He loved tea. Whenever I joined him for a bike ride, he would stop at his favorite tea shop in the place and have tea and a cigarette. He would go out for the cigarette by letting me sit inside the shop with all the men there never bothering to think I was a girl. He treated me like a boy, a boy he loved so much in life.  And from the first tea shop visit till now, tea became my favorite drink. Having tea became one of the best feelings of my life everyday. Every major event in my life like going to school, finishing my tenth and twelfth classes, entering college and getting a job was a celebration to him. Even on my birthdays he used to call all his friends and ask them to wish me! How silly?! I felt completely embarrassed to attend those calls and used to scold him badly for doing so.He did many things that embarrassed me other than leaving me alone in a tea shop or creating a fuss over my birthdays and good marks. When I got out of school with decent marks, I felt really happy for saving my parents money. That was the only intention I had. But to my father, it was the greatest achievement of my life. He never failed to inform a single person in life about my marks and ho proud he was. He annoyed me by talking about it innumerable number of times. I used to tease him by saying it was the 5555th time he was talking about my marks. He would say ,"Okay, listen to me for the 5556th time", and continue doing the same thing.  But now I realize the true intention behind everything he did for me. Every.Single.Thing.

                              My memories of him will never die even for a single day in my life. They say, trying to forget and move on after losing the person you love will help you move ahead in life. But I feel the other way. Remembering them each and every second of your life, taking them to all the destinations with you will help you move ahead in life with so much courage.I look forward to take my dad to greater heights in life, to places he wanted to go and to see things he wished to see.

Always with you dad,
Srimukhee :)